It's only when you've exhausted all other avenues, you seek penning your thoughts as a form of relief. I have been thinking about life and how far I have progressed since graduation.
Honestly, not very good. I still have yet to adjust to leading a 8.30am-6pm job, every single day. I'm still very much attached to social media. And all I can think about is when is my next travel. I want to do more when at work, but procrastination and laziness took the better of me. I want to prove I am worthy for a place in the company but have too little motivation. I want to start paving my glorious journey when working for the company but where do I start? I have been selected for something rather important but I often wonder why I was even chosen. Am I worthy?
Friends and relationships are the other aspect that I have been thinking about, a lot. I try my very best to maintain a healthy friendship with my dearest friends but sometimes I feel some aren't as appreciative as others. Do I give up on those that aren't? I don't want to. I give them benefit of the doubt. But sometimes, it's too draining. I don't wanna lose anymore. I hate that growing up means being occupied with more personal commitments/woes that friends become secondary. What happened to the time when friends are your top priority? When I have zero plans on a Friday night and whatsapp is unusually quiet, I tend to think about it.
Looks like only when I get to terms with the fact that this is part and parcel of growing up, will I be able to fully grasp the meaning of being an adult and taking it in my stride. Till then, I still hope for the day I am able to find someone brave enough to go on a 1 year adventure with me to find the calling of life. I yearn for new experiences in a foreign land where all I can rely on is myself and the companion. I don't want to just survive. As much as I love this concrete jungle I live in, I want to disconnect and find new ways to live.
